No One Will Believe We Don't Drink

There's no way at least half of these dudes aren't drunk off their pink arses. (Especially Dave, Garred, Jon, Paul, and Scotty.)

This Man... in 6 Days

For all of you that don't get to spend a week on a boat with this man... I'm sorry.

Ode to Spring

Ode to Spring

Ere the summer sun doth glare
A golden hue doth light the air
To signal weather calm and fair
The boys are out to play.

Dave is light and country fair
Mark a man with dashing dare
Jentry long without a care
A handsome trio gay.

Now the sun descends its stair
It's warming rays no more to share
The sky, the moon is soon to tear
The curtains of this day.

Good night, Dave.
Good night, Mark.
Good night, Jentry.
Good night, Spring.

Sherpa Shame

Here is a rare photograph of the true work that goes on behind the scenes on Everest's summit. Keep smiling, white people. The first will be the last and the last will be the first.

Such a Disappointment

Cho Seung-hui

This guy is unequivocally out of the family. As spokesman of the Asian Empire, I take all asianness out of him. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Glad You Were Born

Dave,

On this most special of days for all of us, we wish you all the best in your world travels, pursuit of dreams, pistol whippings, and healing from the clap. We love you. You truly are shat-tastic.

Sincerely,

Garred, Ellie, and the Asian continent

Hey Baby, What's Your Sign?

Ode to This Guy

Blue suit, 80's hair.
Gold chains, Sexy glare.
Michael Jackson?, Don't you dare.
Purple axe, Medium rare.
Satin smooth, makes you stare.
Colts v. Bears, I don't care.
Thrown on stage, my underwear.
Will you sing at our fireside?

Punished It

Extreme Unction...punished it. Just a word for those in the know.