Magnum Opus

This is it, folks. The pinnacle of all things blog-worthy. Many of you have probably noticed that I haven't written anything for over a month. I'm sorry to those of you who desperately check this site everyday hoping for just a morsel of lifeblood. (You know who you are.) But don't think that this short sabbatical was time wasted. No. On the contrary, the last month of my life has been exclusively dedicated to creating the Single Greatest Blog Entry in the history of spacetime, including all future entries that may follow. I haven't slept for 744 hours. I have been searching for the right words to say, the right message to convey. Everything seemed trivial and unoriginal. And then, as if by some sheeply miracle, I remembered an obscure picture that I linked to in my September 26th post entitled "When things aren't going your way...." There she was, my magnum opus, tucked away in obscurity. People, I hope you have been wiser than I have been. I hope you recognized the genius and endless intrigue of this photo long before I did.

What is going on here? We need to take a minute and analyze all the information that we're getting in this deceptively simple snapshot. Yes, there's a girl in a cottonball sheep costume. But there's so much more. Where in the hell is she? The answer is not so simple. Take for example the bed on the right. Is she in a bedroom? If so, who's? Look closer. Why is there a chalkboard on the wall? And what is that enigmatic planar equation? Does it tell us where Heaven is? Does it foretell the end of the world? Now look at the wall on which the chalkboard rests. Sound-proofing tiles. Where are we? The list goes on. The shrine-like poster, the ethnic woven backpack purse on the chair, the discarded jeans, the two pair of boots, the lamp pointing in the wrong direction, the mechanical contraption in the box, and so on and so forth. People, this is it. This is both the enlightenment and the darkness. The Ying and the Yang. The hip and the hop. There will be posts in the future, just as there have been posts in the past. But none will eclipse what we have experienced here today.